I have to say, if you've never planned a wedding then you REALLY don't know what a toll it takes on a gal!! Raise your hand if you think having a long engagement makes things super easy breezy and you actually have a FUN time doing everything (if you asked me last August when I got engaged I would have raised my hand). Well--YOU ARE WRONG. Sure, some things were not as stressful as it could have been (ie. searching for a dress by a certain time, having time to create a budget, giving yourself time to financially prepare for the cost, etc) but really you are prolonging your stress levels.
When I got engaged about 11 months ago I thought,"Sweet! I have 14 months to plan this wedding. That means towards the end I won't feel super rushed, pressed for time, etc because it would all be taken care of WAY ahead of time. All I have to concentrate on is what dresses to buy for my bachelorette party and shower." Pffft...yea right!! It seems the closer I get to the Big Day the more I think and talk about the wedding. It seems that is ALL I talk about. I drink, eat, and BREATHE wedding wedding wedding! I'm starting to annoy even myself (as I'm sure I annoy all of Facebook or my local friends because I feel it's all I post statuses about).
I am drowning in guest lists, making sure I have updated addresses, reviewing and editing the newsletters my mom is graciously making for everyone (have I mentioned how GREAT my mom is? I can spend 50 thousand blogs talking about that woman.. :) ) anyway...I'm drowning in the invitations I am currently ordering, and what style I want them, do I want this script over that? Do I want glitter ink or foil? Do I want a bow on top? Do I want ivory or white? Do I want to put Captain in front of Matthew or below his name next to :United States Marine Corps? Do I want a Disney seal on the back of the envelope. QUESTIONS QUESTIONS QUESTIONS!! AHHH...and it took me until NOW to realize that planning is a lot more fun (and relaxing) when I accompany it with a glass of Pinot Noir. True Story.
Do I want the sword ceremony indoors or outdoors? How many Marines are we counting on to even do this?? We have 6 and Matt says they are all coming for sure and I shouldn't stress. BUT..if there is one thing I learned it's that in the military NOTHING is for certain. So I'm a little stressed about that.
Matt and I were doing a comparison in our guest list from each of our sides and I'm a little discouraged to see how many people from my side I don't think are going to attend. Much of them being family..while I see most of Matt's family and friends are attending. It got me to thinking about my relationship with people. Sometimes I feel close to people, even if we don't really speak all that often but I hear about them, see online what they've been up to, keeping up with the latest news via my mom..so to me, the cousins I haven't seen in YEARS are still just as close in my heart as they were when we were young enough to shoot eachother with nerf guns. (obviously it's been a long time since I've played with Nerf guns if I use it as a time reference.)
Same goes with friends. It's not just family but some friends I may not have been as close with in the recent years I still call best friends of mine. Maybe I throw the term around loosely, though to me it still gives the words "best friend" importance. I'm awful about keeping in contact, I'll admit. I guess I just assume we know how important we are to each other and if weeks, months go by without talking, I am confident that when we pick up the phone again we'll pick up where we left off. Anyway, do I have the right to get a LITTLE miffed or disappointed when I hear so-and-so isn't coming along with so-and-so and so-and-so? I figure it'd be like a family reunion at this wedding! I LOVE seeing family I haven't seen in a while (whether it be a day or 3 years ago). But more and more it's looking like that's not the case. Booo :(
Don't get me started on having reserved room blocks!! I don't see how one can "guestimate" how many room nights will be reserved for your wedding party...from back in OCTOBER! HOW can I possibly know how many "room nights" will be reserved a year from the wedding..I haven't even sent out Save The Dates at that time! So NOW my biggest stress is figuring out how many people even plan on staying on Disney property so I can count how many "room nights" that is and decide based on that if I need to lower my reserved rooms on the contract. I have until August 16th to do so, and it's 50/50 if invitations will be sent out by then. It means I have to track people down and see where they plan on staying (IF they plan on going) and it's just another headache I don't want. (Okay..so I got started on the topic anyway)
That's it for my rant. It crossed my mind how swamped my mind is in planning this special day for Matt and I. I look back on texts or my phone calls with Matt, or my emails to him and my mom daily with wedding crap. My statuses "hw hw hw! Doing wedding stuff! Picking invitations!" blah blah blah..I'm annoying myself. So, I'm gonna work on stopping. Maybe venting here, and also getting alot taken care of the past two days, will quiet my anxiety and let me sit back and enjoy the ride. After all, in the end it is ALL worth it and I don't want to look back and say "why the hell did I stress over this??" I mean, it's only natural to want things to go smoothly and turn out how I want (after all, we want what we pay for, right??) but now I am going to make it my mission to try to LIKE doing this stuff. If that means pouring this girl a glass of red wine to quiet the nerves, then so be it :) As Matt keeps reminding me, I have to remind myself what the day is most importantly all about:
Matt and I. Our exchange of the vows that promise forever and ever. I truly cannot WAIT for October 16th and our Disneymoon...and I just KNOW I am going to get the "Post Wedding Blues".
So, quit your bitchin', Lauren! Grab a glass of wine and have some FUN! :)
PS. Still in search of my "Something Borrowed" and "Something Old"..not that anyone may really be able to help me with this, but any ideas?
A princess throws herself into the world of the United States Marine Corps...
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Forever Thankful
You know, I've been reading this blog I happen to accidentally stumble across on another friend's page. It's about a fellow USMC spouse (I know I'm not officially a spouse yet, but in my mind I am) who I've never met but have become completely entranced in her page. She talks about finding love, settling into the Marine Corps life, only to have her love taken away from her while he was deployed. I have to admit, I had three nightmares (yes, three!) the night that I first started following her. I have to also confess that, in the past, I never thought much about the future Mr. deploying. Oh, sure, I knew it'd happen one day...possibly one day in the next couple years, but it never hit close enough for me to start feeling any sort of anxiety over it. My only comments have been, " just go before you knock me up!". I'll be damned if he leaves me alone with my cravings...
But lately I've been finding myself thinking about it a lot. I try to actually put myself in the situation. Sometimes I think that I can handle a 6-8 month deployment since the first year and a half of our relationship was spent drastically long distance. But I know it doesn't compare..not one bit. I have a few girlfriends whose spouses are in the military..in a month or two all three will have their men overseas, fighting and putting their lives at risk for ours. I can't say "how do they do it"...because I do. They are strong. They are strong supporters and believers in their men. They do it because they have to. Because now it's who they are and what they are proud of. One day I will be able to relate to them. Until then, I am just a girl who moved across the country and is trying her best to adjust and to fit in. I am a girl in love with the future Mr. and I am thankful every day for him. Words cannot describe him without me starting to tear up. He's definitely mastered the Pulling at Lauren's Heart Strings...Oorah, future Mr. Devil Dog.
Those who know me know that I am pretty darn close to my family. I come from a family consisting of my parents and my three sisters. Two of which have blessed me with 4 nieces and nephews...so far! I miss them like crazy. All of them. One sister lives down south with her kids and I wonder all the time what she is up to (she is uber hard to get in touch with! Jeesh..) I have one who uprooted to ENGLAND with her hubby and baby (at the time) about 5-6 years ago. Without a house phone here it is impossible to call her, so I keep tabs by stalking her facebook (though she rarely gets on and when she does her status is vague..like it's an inside comment that only she knows). Though, I do appreciate the tidbits of information I hear about my beautiful niece :) Then there is my little sister (22..not so little, I guess) and my parents who still live back in good ol' Virginia. I talk to my mom quite often, I'd say about 3-5 times a week at least. If you count emails, then every day. When I start to miss them tremendously I just think, "one more month until you get to visit them..hang in there!"(since I am back and forth a lot, especially in this wedding planning period!).
I miss my east coast friends dearly. I like to call them my Sex and the City girls because I can divide them up just so! I won't call out who's who, but they know who they are! I miss having them close by. Moving out here, across the country, is definitely no piece of cake. Sure, it has it's positives..many, in fact! But what I can't easily get out here are friends like the ones I left behind. I hate that term "left behind" but that's what it feels like. I am no longer IN their lives. I don't get to see my good friend's baby grow up..I don't get to call my Water Buffalo (and I'm her sasquatch..not even sure HOW we came up with those names! lol) and invite her out to karaoke on a whim, or go to our weekly Fridays buffalo wing night or whatever else we would conjure up. Even though my life long friend moved to Richmond a few years back I miss having her just close ENOUGH where we could at least plan a weekend to get together..whether she come up here or I go there. Those are just a few examples of what I will miss. If I continued, I could go on for hours. Days,even!
I don't know..I've made SOME friends here, but sometimes I feel they're my friends by default. They started off as Matt's friends. And sometimes I feel, because this certain group of friends are so close, that I am only warmly welcomed because they love Matt. Would they accept me on my own merit? I rarely see "newcomers" enter the picture, and if they do it's not for long. And I don't like getting that feeling. Like it's a private club where unless you are invited you cannot join. Only some days do I feel that way. Other days, when I'm more optimistic and not as cynical, that feeling is just a whisper. But regardless of what the realness of the matter is, I do really like them. The girls have welcomed me, whether it's "me" or "Matt's fiance" they welcome, I can't be sure. But they're sweet, sometimes fiesty, but a riot to be around. I look forward to getting to know everyone better. Who knows, maybe I'm just being insecure and just assuming things (you know what they say about when you assume..).
I also want to acknowledge one last group of people who entered my mind tonight. I am super thankful for what is to come in my near future. I am proud and excited to accept Matt's family into my own. They seem so carefree (and if they are NOT exactly carefree then they sure do know how to carry on with life as if they are so..which I admire). They quickly accepted me into their lives and will soon gladly accept me as their future daughter/sister/aunt/cousin/friend. I am so thankful for them, and for being a happy part of Matt's life. Without all of them, Matt wouldn't be who he is today. And we all know I love him with all my heart. So a special "thank you" :)
But lately I've been finding myself thinking about it a lot. I try to actually put myself in the situation. Sometimes I think that I can handle a 6-8 month deployment since the first year and a half of our relationship was spent drastically long distance. But I know it doesn't compare..not one bit. I have a few girlfriends whose spouses are in the military..in a month or two all three will have their men overseas, fighting and putting their lives at risk for ours. I can't say "how do they do it"...because I do. They are strong. They are strong supporters and believers in their men. They do it because they have to. Because now it's who they are and what they are proud of. One day I will be able to relate to them. Until then, I am just a girl who moved across the country and is trying her best to adjust and to fit in. I am a girl in love with the future Mr. and I am thankful every day for him. Words cannot describe him without me starting to tear up. He's definitely mastered the Pulling at Lauren's Heart Strings...Oorah, future Mr. Devil Dog.
Those who know me know that I am pretty darn close to my family. I come from a family consisting of my parents and my three sisters. Two of which have blessed me with 4 nieces and nephews...so far! I miss them like crazy. All of them. One sister lives down south with her kids and I wonder all the time what she is up to (she is uber hard to get in touch with! Jeesh..) I have one who uprooted to ENGLAND with her hubby and baby (at the time) about 5-6 years ago. Without a house phone here it is impossible to call her, so I keep tabs by stalking her facebook (though she rarely gets on and when she does her status is vague..like it's an inside comment that only she knows). Though, I do appreciate the tidbits of information I hear about my beautiful niece :) Then there is my little sister (22..not so little, I guess) and my parents who still live back in good ol' Virginia. I talk to my mom quite often, I'd say about 3-5 times a week at least. If you count emails, then every day. When I start to miss them tremendously I just think, "one more month until you get to visit them..hang in there!"(since I am back and forth a lot, especially in this wedding planning period!).
I miss my east coast friends dearly. I like to call them my Sex and the City girls because I can divide them up just so! I won't call out who's who, but they know who they are! I miss having them close by. Moving out here, across the country, is definitely no piece of cake. Sure, it has it's positives..many, in fact! But what I can't easily get out here are friends like the ones I left behind. I hate that term "left behind" but that's what it feels like. I am no longer IN their lives. I don't get to see my good friend's baby grow up..I don't get to call my Water Buffalo (and I'm her sasquatch..not even sure HOW we came up with those names! lol) and invite her out to karaoke on a whim, or go to our weekly Fridays buffalo wing night or whatever else we would conjure up. Even though my life long friend moved to Richmond a few years back I miss having her just close ENOUGH where we could at least plan a weekend to get together..whether she come up here or I go there. Those are just a few examples of what I will miss. If I continued, I could go on for hours. Days,even!
I don't know..I've made SOME friends here, but sometimes I feel they're my friends by default. They started off as Matt's friends. And sometimes I feel, because this certain group of friends are so close, that I am only warmly welcomed because they love Matt. Would they accept me on my own merit? I rarely see "newcomers" enter the picture, and if they do it's not for long. And I don't like getting that feeling. Like it's a private club where unless you are invited you cannot join. Only some days do I feel that way. Other days, when I'm more optimistic and not as cynical, that feeling is just a whisper. But regardless of what the realness of the matter is, I do really like them. The girls have welcomed me, whether it's "me" or "Matt's fiance" they welcome, I can't be sure. But they're sweet, sometimes fiesty, but a riot to be around. I look forward to getting to know everyone better. Who knows, maybe I'm just being insecure and just assuming things (you know what they say about when you assume..).
I also want to acknowledge one last group of people who entered my mind tonight. I am super thankful for what is to come in my near future. I am proud and excited to accept Matt's family into my own. They seem so carefree (and if they are NOT exactly carefree then they sure do know how to carry on with life as if they are so..which I admire). They quickly accepted me into their lives and will soon gladly accept me as their future daughter/sister/aunt/cousin/friend. I am so thankful for them, and for being a happy part of Matt's life. Without all of them, Matt wouldn't be who he is today. And we all know I love him with all my heart. So a special "thank you" :)
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Vitameatavegamin!
One thing that many people may not know about me is I am an avid I Love Lucy fan! Random, I know, but I found my collection of DVD's that I packed here and started watching them today. When I was young I used to watch TV Land on Nick @ Nite (if I remember correctly) and I would watch reruns of whatever summer block television show marathon that would be on. Mondays were Happy Days, Tuesdays were Bewitched, and Wednesdays were I Love Lucy. Lucy Ricardo captured me! I know it sounds silly, but in that time in my life everything was carefree, easy, it was summer, and it was definitely the simple days. I wanted nothing more than to gather my nightly snacks and watch to see what crazy stunt that wily red-head had, especially to get in Ricky's shows!
Vitameatavegamin...This is one of my all-time favorite episodes lol
"tastes just like candy...honest!" <--I even have a coffee mug w. this quote inscribed inside :)
Sometimes when my days get a little stressful or I just want things to be simple again, I'll pop in a Lucy dvd and watch to my hearts content. It's just so funny to see how the shows were produced back then versus today. Not too much drama, they had pretty strict censorship rules..Lucy and Ricky had to have separate beds! They cheated the system and put their two beds together. They couldn't kiss for longer than a certain period time..I think longer than 4 seconds was even too racy! Crazy, huh? Definitely not like todays television. I don't know..I like the innocence of the quality and I always find myself reverting back to it when things in life get a little complicated. Just thought I'd share since it's now 1:30am and I just put in the first dvd of season 2 :)
Matt is the Ricky to my Lucy <3
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Let the Memories Begin!
As the future Mrs. Teufelhunden (or more popularly known as Devil Dog.,associated with the Marine Corps), I decided now would be as good a time as ever to start a blog. Growing up I used to keep journals by jotting down all my ideas, my thoughts, and my feelings (being a teenager at the time I bet you can imagine just how sporadic my notebook pages looked!), and now I feel inspired to start writing all over again. Mind you, I am no poet, novelist, etc..and I'm not expecting to move anyone. Just hopefully entertain and give my readers a peek into my life. In October I will be marrying into the world of Marines and I am super excited to see what my life holds ahead.
That Marine I speak of is Matt. He is truly my knight in shining armor. My best friend. My Devil Dog. My hero. My protector. He is the Mickey to my Minnie (you will also notice as time goes on how much I love Disney). He is the epitome of the perfect guy I have always searched for. He treats me like the princess I should be (in his words!) and makes me feel like I am for real "all that and a bag o' chips!"
We met in August of '09, got engaged exactly 1 year later, and will be tying that knot October 16,2011 at Walt Disney World!!! We spent the first year and a half of our relationship long distance. I'm talkin' California to Virginia. It was hard at times but since we knew we were each other's "ONE" we lived it day to day until the big day in January '11 when I finally graduated and moved out here to good ol' Sacramento!
I do miss home. I miss my family, my friends, and my dog, Petrie. I miss knowing all the good spots to hang out and knowing where the dangerous parts of town are. I miss being able to call a girlfriend up on a whim and going out for dinner/drinks/karaoke/etc. It's hard getting adjusted in a town where you are completely unfamiliar with. Sure, I've made some new friends and acquaintances, but it sure seems hard to actually plan to go out. I'm the new girl. I'm Matt's fiance. I guess in time the "friend" part of the move out here will get better. I'll get back to you on that!
There is still so much to see and do in this city before Matt's time here is up next May/June and we head off to our next adventure. I plan on scouring Sacramento for all it's worth and taking,hopefully, many, many, amazing memories with me. Let the memories begin!! --Hoorahhhh!!
That Marine I speak of is Matt. He is truly my knight in shining armor. My best friend. My Devil Dog. My hero. My protector. He is the Mickey to my Minnie (you will also notice as time goes on how much I love Disney). He is the epitome of the perfect guy I have always searched for. He treats me like the princess I should be (in his words!) and makes me feel like I am for real "all that and a bag o' chips!"
We met in August of '09, got engaged exactly 1 year later, and will be tying that knot October 16,2011 at Walt Disney World!!! We spent the first year and a half of our relationship long distance. I'm talkin' California to Virginia. It was hard at times but since we knew we were each other's "ONE" we lived it day to day until the big day in January '11 when I finally graduated and moved out here to good ol' Sacramento!
I do miss home. I miss my family, my friends, and my dog, Petrie. I miss knowing all the good spots to hang out and knowing where the dangerous parts of town are. I miss being able to call a girlfriend up on a whim and going out for dinner/drinks/karaoke/etc. It's hard getting adjusted in a town where you are completely unfamiliar with. Sure, I've made some new friends and acquaintances, but it sure seems hard to actually plan to go out. I'm the new girl. I'm Matt's fiance. I guess in time the "friend" part of the move out here will get better. I'll get back to you on that!
There is still so much to see and do in this city before Matt's time here is up next May/June and we head off to our next adventure. I plan on scouring Sacramento for all it's worth and taking,hopefully, many, many, amazing memories with me. Let the memories begin!! --Hoorahhhh!!
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