Here We Go...

Well. He's gone.

Day 1:

We woke up early and got the last minute items in order: DVD's to go in his DVD pack, gave him a letter I wrote him to read on the ship, and a couple of other tasks.  7:30am came and we started our drive to the port.  He dropped off the first trip of belongings on the ship while I had to wait in the car. He came back and grabbed the last of it and that's when we said our goodbyes. You know, I was doing fine, emotionally, until that very last minute.  That's when my chin started to quiver and it was hard to look him in the eye (because I hate for him to see my cry). We gave each other a few kisses, big hug and I remember him telling me, "You're amazing. You're strong. I love you."  I got in the car and he came back to have me roll down my window for one last kiss. That about sent me over the edge.  I had to drive off right away since we were in a spot I wasn't allowed to park (we already were warned once).  I managed to find my way back home. I dropped my purse on the counter, immediately changed into a comfy t-shirt and pj bottoms and then made my way into the living room where the doggies were frantically demanding attention. That's when I broke down. I cried for a few seconds and pulled myself back together and loved on my fur babies.  Then I would break down again for a few seconds and then pull myself back together. This repeated itself for maybe a half hour until my exhaustion just took over.  I had my Golden Girls on (one of the best feel-good shows) and a batch of brownies baking in the over (don't judge, a fellow wife gave me permission to eat and do whatever I wanted that day. So I decided to indulge in sad comfort food.) After I ate, I put on X-Files and passed out with my napping dogs.  After I woke up I felt a little better.  I felt like Matt is away on business and it will be okay. The rest of the day and night I just felt tired. Worn and tired.  I cooked Ramen for dinner and opened a beer Matt had bought for me. Since I had figured out how to hide the IP address here I could watch Netflix, finally (Netflix is US based service so the IP address here wouldn't allow Netflix to work...until now!)! So I had dinner while watching a marathon of the Walking Dead (great distraction) and polished it off with another brownie.  I went to bed upstairs with Petrie and put on I Love Lucy to fall asleep to.  I did hear from Matt, though! They hadn't sailed off yet so he was able to find a spot on the ship where he gets service and we chatted a little on how each of were doing and we wished eachother a happy three year dating anniversary. I miss him so much already and it hasn't even been 13 hours!

Day 2:

Today has been more gloomy and tiresome than yesterday.  Today is rainy, gray and thunder-y: much like my mood.  When the dogs are awake they are being naughty. It's like they are extra hyper and they are just not minding me today! Today isn't the best of days to try my patience.  Oh, and the power went off earlier too...I thought, "great! what else?!".  It's still raining and gray but at least the power is back on.  Petrie is upstairs sleeping and Scuttle is tucked in behind my knees (as I'm layin' on the couch) snoozing away looking more like an angel puppy than the puppy I dubbed earlier as "Sharp Tooth".  A friend has invited me to a jewelry party tonight here on this base so I think I'm going to go to that. I think getting out of the house will do me a little good (though, at the moment, I feel even too lazy to shower!).  Until then, I think I'm going to just cuddle on the couch and take advantage of this sleepy day and put on a good classic movie on Netflix. I found a few Barbara Stanwyck films that look interesting (she's an American actress from the 30's and 40's. Remember, I love, love, love old movies).  Hopefully my gray mood will pick up.  For now, I'll blame it on the weather.