A Few Of My Favorite Things

A few of my favorite things..

It's amazing how the littlest of features can create the biggest feeling of love in our hearts. Her little toes call out to be kissed at least once a day. Her tiny ears hear me sing to her and tell her that I love her. Those sweet little hands stroke my face and, while be it painful, grab my cheeks to pull my face in closer so her tiny lips can give me a big and sloppy kiss. :)

It has been six months since I labored for 10.5 hours with Savannah. Six. Whole. Months. (I know.."only six months" some would say..) Time is flying faster than I would like it to. While it's wonderful and amazing to see just how much she grows and changes on a daily basis, it's a constant reminder that she is not the little peanut who just loved to sleep in my arms and eat, eat, eat. (And sleep some more). I am holding her less and less these days now that she is discovering her newfound love of independence and playing with her toys on the floor. She wants me for snacks and a quick meal but then quickly will unlatch, look at me and smile, look around and want back down. I love that she is growing into her own person (ya!), but, it's bittersweet that me being her sole need is over.

Since Matt has been home (when she just turned 4.5mo) she has thrived into a little thing who likes to rock on all fours, "crawl" in her own way to toys (and the dog's toys) , and put everything she can grab into her mouth (and I mean everything. Socks..waste basket tag..water bottles..you name it). She has tried peas and bananas for the first time ever and made a gag face every time for both.(<-- I think her gag reflexes are still sensitive so I haven't ruled them as foods she does not like...yet).

She squeals. She grunts. She drools. She kicks. She gives happy wiggles. She pulls on hair. She finds delight in the pups. She also has said her first word: Mama! (or mamamama when she is extra upset!) By the way..letting her try to cry it out is near impossible (ok..impossible) when her little voice is crying out for you. It pulls at these big ol' heart strings of mine. I just can't do it!

Her six month half-birthday landed on the same day as the Marine Corps Ball that we were attending. We didn't really celebrate but I took some pictures of her that morning wearing my pearls and cute floral bloomers. They came our really well, I think!

Leaving her for the first time ever wasn't as bad as I was preparing myself for it to be. I thought for sure my anxiety would be through the roof. But, I had a friend I trusted come over to watch her. I had a glass of wine while getting ready. When we left the house Savannah was in decent spirits and playing on the floor. My friend sent us pictures and updates throughout the night which really helped me relax and trust that everything was okay. I wasn't so worried about the safety of Savannah and if she was okay, but I was anxiety-ridden that she was going to fuss and cry the whole night  making it absolutely miserable for both parties. But, everything was great! Matt and I had a wonderful time celebrating the Marine Corps' birthday..we drank a little, had a big dinner, caught a couple songs the DJ played before heading out..It was much needed for both of us. Then we rushed home excited to see our cuddly creatures.

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Now that I have gushed about some of the things that I absolutely love and adore about her..I'll be real for a second..it's not always a cake walk. The wonderful by far outweighs the struggle..but a struggle is still a struggle and they're never easy.  She is increasingly forgetting that she used to like going to bed by 8:30pm (leaving me with a couple hours to just be Lauren..not Mom). Now, she is back to midnight bedtimes. Still, she is sleeping through the night for the most part (sometimes she is up again around 1:30 needing to be nursed to go back to sleep) but I'm sure now that I've said it, she will be up all night this whole week (isn't that how this whole parent jinxing thing works?!). She is going through sort of a stranger-danger/new place anxiety phase. If she hasn't had a nap and doesn't have a full tummy then it's safe to say she will have a meltdown where we are at and be absolutely inconsolable. The only thing that has worked in the past was to strap her in her stroller and just rock it back and forth or make our way to the car where we will sit alone until she latches on (which could take 10 or so minutes depending on her level of fussiness) and then eat until she falls asleep.  It's exhausting having a baby who is so upset and not understand why or how you can easily fix the problem. Then, the hormones kick in...when she is that upset..especially in public..I start to get hot and I'll start to sweat. Anxiety takes over which I know never helps the situation. I have left the commissary or the BX near tears just completely overwhelmed with the fact my baby has been crying and crying for over 20 minutes and nothing I did would calm her down. But like every other hurdle...you pass it and move on to the next day in hopes (big hopes) everyone is relaxed and happy and loving life! (which, she normally does..but like every baby she has her moments). So, at the moment that's my biggest hurdle with her: the public meltdowns. I have been working hard at making sure she naps when she is showing signs she is tired, which is usually darkness under her eyes and her rubbing her ears.  I make sure she is full when we leave the house and I say a prayer when taking her out of the car seat going inside somewhere that she will be content and happy lol. It's always a coin toss.

Aside from that, she really is a good baby. I feel very lucky and blessed every single day..easy or hard.

So that's little Savannah. Miss Independent. Miss Personality with the expressive facial expressions. Miss Cutie Pants.
And speaking of naps and saying "mamama", little beauty is now awake and crying out for me. Donning my mom-cape and going to her rescue....
Until next time... XOXO

Time Flies When You're In Love

So I am sitting down taking a moment to myself (very rare) and looking through all the pictures on my phone, starting from the day Savannah was born. I cannot believe that she is already four months old this Saturday (the 7th). It's so crazy just how fast time is flying! One minute she is seven weeks old and her daddy is deploying with the MEU..the next I am looking at a not-so-tiny infant who is smiling, rolling, scooting, sucking fingers, grabbing at toys and pulling herself up into a standing position on my lap. Four months old.

This little baby amazes me every day.  I have mornings that start at 2am. I hear her cry and I am immediately annoyed and in a fog. I grumpily drag myself out of bed praying the dogs stay put and don't want to take that opportunity to go out. Then I stand over her bassinet and look in. The resentment and grumpiness melts away. My heart fills with mush all over again and I quietly talk to her while I change her diaper. I cherish the quiet morning hours I can cuddle her in bed while giving her the opportunity to nurse. It's her favorite thing. She passes out almost immediately. She just wanted the comfort of her mama and it's hard to get mad at that! 

Matt has been gone since June 25th and surprisingly we are holding up really well. When he is gone I sort of go into a daze and one day melts into another. Most of the time I can't even tell you what day it is because I just don't even worry about days until I start my countdown to homecoming. We now have about a month, give or take, and I am getting those butterflies again. That's probably the only perk to deployments: the homecoming butterflies. 

Since he has been gone Savannah and I have gone through sleepless nights. We have gone through a growth spurt or two (unfortunately that includes both of us..). We have changed a million diapers..sometimes in the dark. I've gotten pretty good at that! We have ventured to the movies which she is so well-behaved at! All it takes is a boppy, the lights out, and a boob within reach lol We have let the house go to shambles. Then I clean clean clean. Savannah has decided to give herself a bed time all on her own, and that's usually 8:40ish when she starts getting tired. Mommy gets a couple hours each night to just sit. Sit and not worry about a thing, really. Savannah has learned to roll from tummy to back and back to tummy. She has learned to soothe herself by sucking her thumb. Savannah has discovered her fingers and plays with them a lot. She likes them better than toys most of the time! She is learning the art of scooting: pulling her knees up under her and propelling herself forward..potentially giving herself rug burn on her face. She is interested in sitting up and now trying to pull herself up in a stand. She's wobbly, but she's strong. Once she learns that her hands can actually hold on to the edge of the Pack n' Play to hold herself up, she will be a pro in no time.  She likes when I sing her "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid. 

So you see what I mean when I say I am amazed at all the things she can do in the blink of an eye???
She is the best thing I ever did..aside from marrying her daddy. I cannot wait for him to get home. I know he misses her like crazy and is looking forward to seeing all she has learned.
Every sleepless night, prolonged healing, running on fumes and usually late, inability to hit a gym, melt down and half-ass meals is all worth it.  I would do it all over again (and plan on it!).
So, kiss your babies and fur babies. I'm kissing mine and taking advantage of every second of this sweet stage of their life.