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| Prepping For My First Deployment (Matt's 2nd) |
"Stress is something that we, ourselves, create and it depends on how we interpret situations and relate to the world"
I read that in one of the two books shown above and I completely agree. I know, for me, most of the time it's a mind game. Once the stress ball gets rollin' it's really hard to back track. Since learning that my husband will be deploying shortly after moving in, I have pushed the thought way back in my mind. People would ask how I am feeling about the situation and I would respond, "oh, I'm not feeling anything yet, we still have plenty of time before he leaves." And then Thursday the tenth rolls around. I sit up in bed looking at the calendar on my phone and think: Shit. We have only 10 days left together?! (3 days have been added so now he leaves the 23rd...one week left...) The next day I could feel my anxiety and apprehension growing. Slowly, but surely, it started taking over. I started feeling hot, a little shaky, unable to think completely clearly, my chest was tight and it was hard to take a deep breath, my patience was non-existent and I would cry at the drop of a hat (yes, come 5pm even Scuttle escaping her pen made me cry in frustration). These are not feelings that I like to have! Matt came home and was ever-so-helpful with the pups and helping me get our comfort food dinner started. I took a Xanax because at that point I was beyond calming myself down. Ten minutes later, I was feeling the zen I've been craving and have been pretty calm since then. I don't like relying on medication to help with my emotions or anxiety. The only times I really ever took Xanax was when I had my extreme fear of flying and public speaking (when you've had a panic attack during/towards the end of a presentation, you realize you probably need to be prescribed something). In this case, though, I felt it was appropriate (plus, trying to have babies, ya gotta keep that bad stress out!!)
So, I read in one of these two books that "anticipatory grief" is a real thing, and I believe that's what I have been going through. The anticipation of taking on full responsibility of the dogs, myself, the house, everything makes me really nervous. Is the car in order? How are the bills going to be paid? Will I get to talk to Matt on the phone? Where is the off base vet? Oy.... I honestly feel, though, that once the day comes that Matt leaves, I will be okay. I will be. I'm healthy, I have family, I have friends, and I have my dogs. I am not in any danger, so I will be okay. I am nervous, but what else is to be expected?? "A worry is something you can't do anything about, and it's unproductive. Turn it into a concern and ask what the worst case scenario would be and how you could plan for it if it did happen. Then set aside time to worry and move on"
So, I found it interesting when reading about the top stresses in life:
- moving (check! first to Cali, now here...)
- marital separation (check!)
- pregnancy (or lack of it, in my case...but check!)
- death (thankfully, no check)
- changing jobs (trying to find a job so semi-check!)
- major changes in responsibilities (check!)
- change in sleep habit (check but it's evened itself out now that I'm adjusted)
hello...does this sound like everyday military life at it's best?! It's no wonder why all of a sudden I was on the verge of a panic attack..so much going on all at once it's a bit hard to digest and accept.
Whether it's 9 months or 1 month, any separation from someone you love is really tough (especially in a foreign land!). While it's hard, I am grateful that this first time around is about three months (though rumor has it he leaves again shortly after) so light at the end of the tunnel is not too far away. It's a bummer that he will be gone for our one year, but, it's not that important to feel sorry for us. There is no reason we can't celebrate to the fullest when he gets back on island!
Proven Stress Reducers:
- get up 15 minutes earlier and leave before you have to (that way any set backs and/or traffic won't push your stress to the limit)
- restrict amount of caffeine, alcohol and junk food
-don't procrastinate (ooh that will be a hard one for me)
-avoid unproductive, negative, "high maintenance" people
- set aside "me" time
-count blessings. For every wrong there are a dozen thing right
-exercise
and a few of my own that I'm adding to help myself out:
- don't play the "if only" game. "if only I lived closer to family" "if only my best friend lived closer". We find ourselves wanting what we don't have. Make do with what you do.
- blogging more (be prepared for more random posts...my hubby knows to check my blogs to see what I'm up to and how I'm doing on some days, so I will be posting for him!)
- I want to try one new recipe/ week, thanks to Food Network and Foodnetwork.com
- I have the Base Housing Project to continue! I would like to have it all finished by the time Matt gets back in November..so that project, alone, will be a handful!
I have to get ready now for my pre-deployment briefing. Thanks for listening! If anyone has any other stress reducers that has worked for them, please feel free to let me know!! I have nothing but time, here, on my hands!
