Reflection

This is time of year where most people reflect on the last 365 days (and then realize that resolution they made last January was never thought of again after Feb.).   Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again: 2012 has been one heck of a whirlwind year!

1. prepared and packed for a big move
2. made a trip back east to have our last hoorah's with our friends and family
3. had another big hoorah in Reno with our Sacramento buddies
4. took in a family member to help put them on a good path in life
5. made that big move across this big ol' globe
6. adjusted to the new culture shocks of living in Japan as well as military base living (this is a first for both of us)
7. experienced our first deployment together (Matt's 2nd and definitely not his last...)
8. adopted the sweetest and happiest little Oki mix puppy (which has been trialling and rewarding)
9. found out we are expecting our little Jelly Belly
10. had our first homecoming
11. learned our little Jelly Belly is going to be a sweet baby girl <3
12. 1st Christmas with it just being us

This year has had some very stressful and trialling moments, as well as some very special and incredible ones.  Certain life events bring out the best and worst in people in your life. You see just how supportive your friends and family really are. Sometimes for the best...and..I almost typed, "sometimes not"...but that "not" factor is for the best. It is for the best that you clearly see who will only be there for you when it's convenient for them. Unfortunately, I have learned of some of those people (be it a friend or family member) in the last 365 days. 

I'm pretty awful about keeping up with my New Year's Resolution..but I have decided on something I want to make a lifetime effort with: surrounding myself with positive people and situations.  I may have said or thought this to myself time and again (esp after a bad spell of drama!) but ever since creating and carrying this tiny, wiggly, already-loved-by-many sweet bundle of joy something inside me has changed. My thoughts, my attitude, my serenity. I feel at peace with myself and my life choices. They have gotten me where I am today which is happily married, a baby in the works with two fur babies, a college degree under my belt and experiencing a life abroad (which many don't get in a lifetime). 

There are not many things you can control in life, but, you can control who is in it. And, who has an affect on your mental well-being. Who lifts you up? Who brings you down? Who accepts your 2am calls when your husband is deployed and you feel all alone? Who brings a smile to your face when you think about them? Who makes your heart feel heavy?  I'm going to find out who these "Who's" are and make my life a more positive one.  Positivity is contagious and I want that "virus" to spread (at the very least in my heart and mind)!  And hey, the baby feels what mama feels so..gotta do what's good for my Jelly Belly, right?! 

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope 2012 treated you well, taught you some great life lessons and made you stronger and ready for what 2013 has to offer all of us. I'm gonna go bring in the New Year tonight playing board games with my love, with the pups at our feet, while I sip on non-alcoholic sparkling cider. Maybe I'll even manage to stay awake to see the countdown!  Stay safe!! 

*quick fact: in Okinawa, the locals celebrate the new year by reflecting on the last year and being thankful. They visit their family's tombs and pay respect. They also will gather as a family in one's home and bring food and treats and spend the day with the people who are important to them. 

Oh Boy...Or Girl!

its...A GIRL!!

As most of you know by now,  Matt and I are blessed with a little girl!!  The idea for the gender reveal we chose started when Matt came home from the first deployment with a Minnie Mouse and a Mickey Mouse onsie he bought at Hong Kong Disney (where he went on a day off at port).  That's when I thought it would be a cute idea to have the tech at the ultrasound clinic off base put the gender in an envelope and seal it.  I would then take the envelope, the wrapped gift box and the onsies over to my neighbor who would then put everything together for us.  I also wanted to get a photographer to come over to take some couples maternity shots and capture the moment of Matt and I opening our little present (the photo above shows our genuine reaction!).  Right after this shot was taken is when we both started crying/tearing up. I am so glad we did it this way. It was truly a special moment we will remember forever: heart racing with anticipation, shock, surprise, overwhelmed with joy, tears, laughs, lots of kisses, sniffles, and more smiles and laughs.  Matt is completely thrilled and, if you can't tell, I'm totally surprised..as I have been thinking we are having a boy!! But nope, we are getting a little princess this time around! 

*I have to add: I'm a tad bit nervous about the doc being correct on the gender. His English was limited and I remember him having to ask which symbol means boy and girl (I drew the boy and girl symbol for him to circle..to make it easier). The letter that was left in the box after opening it showed that he circled the boy symbol but then crossed off the title of boy I wrote above it and wrote in "girl" and underlined it a few times.  Luckily, he threw in a photo of the gender parts which definitely looks like "girl" to me. Matt calls me a worry wart, "if he wrote GIRL and underlined it, and added the pic of the girl parts..then it's a girl. Don't worry". lol  We shall see at our 22 week big ultrasound tomorrow! I'm confident it's a girl though :) 

no teeny weeny in sight! Matt says it looks like the baby sat on a copy machine and xeroxed her butt haha

** Savannah Grace  **

Savannah Grace is our baby girl's name we had picked out way before we ever got pregnant. I have loved Savannah ever since my oldest sister decided not to use it with my niece, Jessica...who is 16 now (so that should tell ya how long I've had that name in mind!).  Lucky for me Matt loves that name too!  As for Grace..well I've always thought it was a pretty name, but it stuck with me because of my love for old Hollywood movies and a wonderful actress that came with that era: Grace Kelly. So that's how we have our little Savannah Grace! 

Now, the only stressor I have with going with Savannah is that a very dear friend of mine loves that name, too. Only, for her own potential daughter.  I remember the day I told her over the phone that Matt and I decided on a girl name way back in the Spring or last Fall and the immediate response was, "omg that's my name too!". LoL..I'm like "of all the times we have talked about future baby names I have never once heard you mention it!" She had kept it secret, for obvious reasons that many women keep their baby names close to their chest (is that the saying? I keep saying it over and over and it's making less and less sense! haha).  It's funny...just another thing to prove we have been friends for so long and are that much alike.  I think knowing that neither one of us stole the name idea from each other (the proof is in that one convo we had!) makes me feel better that it won't cause any issues (God, I hope not). I have no regrets...I've wanted a baby Savannah for as long as I can remember..and in the end I let Matt make the final decision between Savannah and another girl name I liked. But...a part of me still feels a little bad. Not in the sense I feel like I've done something wrong, but, I do actually care about my friend and her feelings too. 

 And speaking of my little Jelly Belly...she's kicking away as I type this. Feeling the presence of this little miracle really does put a lot of things into perspective. The big picture is getting clearer and clearer. Things I used to worry about in the past seem so insignificant now.  My purpose in life has shifted a little. Make that a lot. Matt can sometimes tell when I am feeling it because we will be sitting on our recliners watching TV or something and he'll notice I'm not even paying attention and apparently have this look on my face. One where he just looks at me and says, "you're going to be the best mommy ever. You already are. The look on your face right now and when I catch you looking at Jelly Belly on the fridge...". Hearing things like that make my heart swell. Gosh, I love him. 

he's so excited for a girl! He's wrapped around that little finger already..